How long should a eulogy be?

Usually three to five minutes, around 400 to 700 words, unless the family or celebrant asks for something different.

Is it okay to read a eulogy?

Yes. Almost everyone reads a eulogy. Nobody expects you to memorise it at such a difficult time.

What if I cry while speaking?

That is understood and accepted. Pause, breathe, take a sip of water and continue when you can. Have someone ready to finish reading for you if needed.

How to Write and Deliver a Eulogy: Gentle, Practical Tips

A calm, practical guide to writing and delivering a eulogy, including structure, length, what to include and how to get through it when emotions are strong.

Being asked to give a eulogy is an honour and a heavy responsibility, often during one of the hardest times of your life. You do not need to be a great speaker. You need to speak honestly about someone you cared about. This guide keeps the practical side simple.

Start with stories, not a biography

A eulogy is not a list of dates and achievements. It is a picture of a person. Start by writing down stories, phrases they used, small habits and moments that captured who they were. Ask family and friends for theirs.

A simple structure

Opening: who you are and your relationship to them.
Who they were: a few defining qualities.
Stories: two or three that show those qualities.
What they meant: to you, to family, to others.
Closing: a farewell, a quote or a final thought.

Length

Three to five minutes is typical, around 400 to 700 words. Check with the family or celebrant, as some services have strict timings.

Write for speaking

Use short sentences and plain words. You will be reading under strain, so avoid long, complicated lines. Read it aloud as you write. See writing scripts for the ear.

Mark pauses and breaths

Add [pause] or [breathe] before emotional moments. Pauses give you time to steady yourself and give listeners time to feel what you have said.

Print it large

Use large text with generous line spacing, whether on paper or on a screen. Under emotion, small text becomes very hard to read. If you use a phone, set the text large and turn on do not disturb. See font size and distance.

Practise aloud

Read it aloud several times before the day. The first read is often the most emotional. Each one makes the words a little more familiar and a little easier to say.

Have a backup

Give a printed copy to someone you trust, who can step in and finish reading if you cannot. Knowing someone is there often makes it easier to carry on.

If emotions come

Stopping to cry is completely understood. Pause, breathe slowly, take a sip of water and continue when ready. Nobody expects you to be composed. See breathing for speaking for simple techniques.

Humour is allowed

A gently funny story can bring relief and feel true to the person. Many people remember the laughter in a eulogy as much as the tears.

Recorded or streamed services

If the service is streamed or you are recording a tribute for people who cannot attend, look at the camera at key moments and speak slowly. A prompter near the lens can help, but reading from paper is perfectly fine.

Be kind to yourself

There is no perfect eulogy. Speaking from the heart is what matters.